Growing up, my Mother always taught me the value of loving yourself. Training in two different competitive sports from a young age, I was always more focused on what my body could accomplish rather than what it looked liked.
Only up until recently though, I was convinced that my body was out to ruin my life.
At seven years old, I was diagnosed with a rare type of malformation in my left knee resulting in chronic pain and a knee three times the usual size. It was inoperable and my dream of becoming a professional athlete got a big red X put across it. My body was always breaking down leaving me angry and bitter. I couldn't even participate in physical education classes in school and that made me feel even more different and isolated.
Why was I having such a hard time healing? When there are people way worse off than me that are accomplishing amazing things in this world. I blamed myself for being a burden, convincing myself that it was all in my mind. So I would pretend that I wasn't hurt, pushing myself harder than anyone but that would only make me hit a large number of imaginary brick walls, leaving me not able to move for a couple days. After 13 years of enduring theses patterns, after seeing specialists, acupuncturist, spiritual healers, physiotherapists and being told that they had no clue how to help me, I was exhausted.
What was my body trying to tell me?
I knew my limits but I chose not to listen to them. Our bodies don't try to betray us. They have needs that we either are not in tune enough with or that we chose flat out to ignore. So sometimes they have to scream loudly for us to listen to them. Obviously most illnesses are not a result of a lack of awareness. Sometimes pain and sickness appear for no reason on our path and it is no ones fault. Whatever the cause though, we can always choose our attitude towards what faces us.
Don't focus on what your body can achieve, rather focus on what it can accomplish.
We all tend to fall into our egos trap sometimes. Pushing ourselves to appear less weak and then getting frustrated and angry at our body. Which in turn brings on a avalanche of "poor me's". Self pity is the most un-fun feeling to feel. In doesn't make you feel better like you think it might, it fact it will make you feel even worse than before.
You've got to give yourself a break. Seriously. Our bodies thrive on love and will only perish with hate. So focus on what keeps you grounded and inspires you.
Most of the time I treat my body like a temple, but when I feel like crap sometimes it turns into a garbage disposable. Eating junk food to try and comfort ourselves always backfire. We have to choose food that will help put energy into healing rather than draining it.
Being sick sucks, there's no way around that. But looking to others and comparing, will turn you into a jealous grouch. Go out and make yourself feel good. Happiness can come in simple pleasures. Being in nature, meditating, drinking your favourite type of tea. Whatever makes you happy. When we love our body and accept it the way it is, only then can we start to heal.